This life is full of times where hurdles must be overcome to ensure that the path we are on stays just that, our path. When I speak of this we think of getting a meaningful job, making the right decisions on who to encircle yourself with and buying a house to name just a few however I think the one that is underestimated by a lot is health. Today I sit here after being off work for around 10 weeks not knowing what is to come. The time off has come from the health hurdle and it leaves me with the conundrum of where is it that the next junction in the path will take me or even which is the right direction to move.
My fingers are crossed that only a minority of people out there have to worry about this as it isn't my T1D that is the problem it is my MS and the view as to what would be the best for me for a long term solution. We have the capability to push harder and further to ensure we provide the best for our loved ones but at what point is too much when health comes into question.
My considerations -
It is only part, my immediate future, that comes into my head but more the long term. I have small children that I want to ensure I am as fit and healthy for well into the furlture. With the current damage done I know there is no fixing what is done but to take steps now to minimize what could happen may be the answer?
To work or not to work? I believe that in the heart of most men is the desire and drive to provide for their family and to be the center of the family holding it together. Being a proud man and father to have this now in question is somewhat a shock to your pride. At what point do you come to terms with a reality is different to what you were brought up believing to be the way? At what point do you make decisions that go against your character?
Support - I have come to understand within myself that one man can not do it all and sometimes it is ok to ask for help. A fault of mine in the past was that I was too prideful to seek help where it was needed thinking that we are responsible for ourselves and why should we seek help from others when they themselves could have troubles. The reason is that they care.
How to overcome your own thoughts? This journey with 2 chronic diseases has also put me down the path of depression and in that some days are better than others however in the days that are bad it is very bad. You battle like you do with T1D and your bloodsugar, you battle with you immune system wanting to kill off healthy cells around your nerves and you also battle within your own mind as to value, self worth, ease of life, togetherness and yes d pressuon does bring the thoughts of ones own life. I don't say this for sympathy I say this for awareness. Awareness that chronic diseases have a great effect on us all mind and body. Trying to balance your body is tough enough but also balancing your mind is such a challenge as I don't believe that we know what or how to fix it in completion.
These are but some of the main things flying around in my head and I suppose the reason I write it down here is to, selfishly I suppose, to get me to think more, to share it with people out there no matter where you are and no matter what chronic condition you have hopefully you will know your not alone and maybe just because it will shed some light on what way to go.
Chronic diseases have a toll and we need to accept it so that we are able to make the tough decisions when they come or if they come. It is about taking everything one hurdle at a time.
