Today is one of those days that really does suck to have T1D. Everything was the same as every other Sunday. I woke with a BSL of 3.0, to me no real problem and because it hasn't been a pattern I saw no need to adjust my insulin rates. Mind you if the lows continue then I would adjust the rates so that I consumed less insulin over night. Anyway with breakfast I corrected the BSL and went back to the normal range 4.5 - 8. Nothing abnormal happened for the rest of the morning and in fact all I did was start to pack and worry about where our next move would take us (unfortunately our landlord is selling so I have to pack the family up again for a move). Lunch came and went and I headed off to baseball training. Temperature outside was a nice 24 degrees Celsius and not a cloud in the sky. Before heading for our warm up run I adjusted my basal rate in my pump to 50% of the normal rate for the full 2 hours of the training session. By doing this it would counteract the except isle that was going to be done and hold off any possibility of a Hypo (low BSL). Well that is how it is supposed to work and how it has worked for the last month.
Training went as usual except for the fact that I was uncoordinated a lot of the time. Whether it was trying to field the ball or hit I was making mistakes that were rookie mistakes and ones that are not part of my game. I had checked my BSL prior to the session and it was a nice 10.7. A little higher in the acceptable level but this was my fail safe just in case the basal rate was too much or if the exercise was more than normal. Let me just say now the training session was a little light on compared to normal so it shouldn't have had an effect.
Half way through the session I started to feel it. Light headiness, body tiredness and just the feeling that something wasn't right. I went and found some sugar and quickly took it to bring things back into line. I started to feel a little better so continued on. Now that next part is my own stupid self still not wanting to be the odd one out. I should have called it quits and check my BSL again. Deep down my head was telling me to but my heart just didn't want to. It is usually the other way around but in this case my head was being smart and my heart was being prideful. I finished out the training session but as I finished I knew I had to go and go quickly as I didn't have any other sugar or glucose to hand. I made the 3 minute trip home and rushed inside. Please keep in mind to tell the signs on the outside, from the outside of a hypo is difficult.
I was tired, my brain didn't want to excert itself so I became trapped with in. To make conversation or to communicate was difficult anyway I got inside and in the most non alarming way and in te least amount of words informed my wife I needed sugar. While telling me of the fun and games of the household while I was out I downed the jubes that were given me and continued to look for food to fuel my body back to normal. Now this is where the usual roller coaster begins. The need for fuel is so intense that you can over do it and skyrocket the BSL well above the normal level and once you do that you then have to run the gauntlet of correction to bring it back down again. Please note that it takes around 15 minutes to raise a BSL and close to or over 2 hours to reduce it so the possible roller coaster could last the rest of the day.
The physical impacts of a hypo I can deal with and deal with with no problem I believe however the emotional and mental after effects, the ones that are very difficult to relay to others, are the ones that take their toll. My mind is like a cloud rolls in and dumbs the senses to everything. It makes me question everything I do or want to do, it makes a normal task seem impossible. It makes you tired of this bloody disease. Tired of the day in day out management and wish that someone could do it for you just for a day.
As I write the last sentence my head kicks in and knows that this was just another part if life with T1D. This is just another few hours of abnormality before the norm comes back. Nothing changes, no matter how tired my mind or body is, no matter how much I really don't want to anymore it is a must. I am still expected to be at work or continue work. My wife and kids need me to help manage life and be a roll model to help with success.
As you can see there isn't an easy way to do anything. Without T1D I would have gotten up, had breakfast, packed and stressed a little, have lunch then go to training. I would have then come home and the only thing that may have happened is that my body may have been tired from the exercise. To me seems like a pretty simple way to live and sometimes, and I only mean every no and again, a life that I am enviously of. All other times I know that without this I would be the person I am today. I am sure my wife would tell you that there are elements of me that would be good to change however I am who I am T1D and all.
I wrote this on the upside of a hypo and know that I may have a roller coaster coming but also know that the worst is past and now the chemicals in my body can level out again. As that is what it is. Your body doing what it needs to to survive no matter what. If that means moving or changing the balance in your body then so be it.
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