Fears

One of the first things my endo ever told me when considering the pump is that "The pump is not a cure! It is a management technique and if abused it can be dangerous as things can change quickly." I sit here now and wonder whether or not the rigorous and strict beginning was a blessing in disguise.

To this day I still try to live the diabetic lifestyle and diet (Before there are comments I know there is no such thing as it should be moderation and nothing in excess and I suppose that is what I mean). I steer clear of normal soft drinks like it is poison. I limit any sweets so that it doesn't blow out my BGL. The only reason I look at this is because I see how my daughter, who has been on a pump since day 2, has to an extent continued with her life as it was. I argue with my wife cause to me if we are able to put some rigor in place now it will make the journey later in life easier. I look and wonder if in 20 years will she have the knowledge to make the right decisions to make sure she steers clear of complications.

Within this world of expanding choices and accessibility to anything I fear that if my daughter doesn't understand limits then her journey will be made up of difficult experiences. On the flip side also life is there to be lived and sometimes making the wrong decisions is what makes you learn the best. So maybe it is a mixture of giving the foundation of what the right choices should be while knowing that every now and again the bad choices will prevail and as long as they are choices that are learn't from then this is ok.

After living completely inside this battle for over 2 decades and now within a side battle of MS the biggest thing I have to learn is to understand what it is like for my little baby to grow up with this and not know any different. I was 10 when I was diagnosed so do have memories of what it was like without it but she will never know the difference. I have to understand that she will one day understand why we have had to do so much for and too her. All I want as we all do is for her to have the best future she can have. This will mean structure and processes and also a whole lot of time where life comes first (of course with T1 along for the ride).

She will be taught at the minute that the pump is only a management tool and that it is something to be respected and used within guidelines so that the dangerous part is kept at bay.