Sorry or not Sorry

Type one diabetes is a disease that has so many components that have the possibility to either make the day run smoothly or can put a complete spanner in the works. Along with these components that can make or break you then look at the human elements.


For the last year and a half we have been keeping a brave face for our 3 year old daughter as we disconnect her pump and begin the process of what we call a 1,2,3 (For the technical explanation we are doing her change of site and reservoir in her pump. Yes this means a needle). In the beginning she would not link the disconnection of the pump and the change but as time has progressed her awareness has also become in tune with what is happening.


It began with the advice of talking her through the situation and asking her to try and understand. We also tried the sneak approach. Not that she doesn't know it is happening but to draw up the new reservoir and then only bring it to her attention when it is time to actually do the injection. Incorporating all of these methods and others it always comes down to the same scenario - A young little lady drenched in tears and pleading that we don't do the 1,2,3.


Heart breaking to the strongest person to a mother and father that can not be openly sorry for having to hold her still long enough to safely have the new infusion site inserted and in place so that the continued insulin delivery could be in place.


Internally we are sorry that she has to deal with this disease and I am sorry that there is even a smallest possibility that the genetics that I have could be passed down. On the outside we can't be sorry for holding her still to give her the injection because we can't be sorry for keeping her alive cause we aren't. One day we will get her to understand that all we do is to manage the disease and give her the longest and best life possible.


After the storm that is the process of doing a set change our daughter comes back and tells us how much she loves us and the process is forgotten. Well for the next 2 days or when we need to do the sensor change.