It all begins the same place as most days for most people in bed, or your place of rest. The first thoughts upon waking is ok how do I feel? Does my blood feel thick?, am I abnormally thirsty?, am I busting to go to the toilet?, am I light headed, am I acting weird (like do I know what I am doing), am I shaking or is my lips tingling? Oh then I think "I woke up something must have gone right". I think all of these things like a check list as before I find out what my actual BSL is I try to determine what state I am in.
In the past I have woken up with a low BSL and even though at the time I have gone back to a child like state that is a fleeting moment before the reality of what has happened comes crashing down around me. My wife has told me that when this happens it is difficult to reason with me as I outright deny that anything is wrong and that I am low. All that she can do is point me in the direction of sugar and hope that my subconcious state drives me to eat. I usually does as the human body is a fascinating thing. Once the sugars kick in the emotional response tuns back on as the adrenalin subsides and then the tiredness. This is not a fun morning.
So once the checklist is done I can usually have a rough estimate of where I am. Sometimes I am way off but that usually has another factor like start or end of sickness. I get up and check my BSL. This morning 4.6. So in range but on the low side of range. I would have rather been in the 5-6 range (my golden numbers). Anyway as I was not hypo it was then off to get ready for work. If I had been low the process would have been swapped and it would have been breakfast first to ensure the BSL rises.
On this occasion after the shower and getting dressed it was breakfast time. Now yesterday after having my 3 weetbix with spender on them I found myself running high a number of hours after so today it was back to the drawing board just so that I could recall rate my minds calculations as to how many carbohydrates I was to b in taking. 3 x Aldi brand weetbix equals 30 gms of carbohydrates and once I added the milk I gave myself 45 gms into my pump to work out the insulin that was to be bolused into me to counter and convert the carbs into my energy. At the same time as working that out I logged it away as a reference for other days and also realised that I had given myself only 40gms the day before so that could have explained the difference in my BSL readings.
After breakfast I then checked to make sure that my insulin level in my pump resivour was ample to see me through the day. If it wasn't then I would have to decide on a set change now or to take my supplies and do the change a work. I don't like doing it but sometimes it is necessary. Just as I am about to check the resivour and I hear the well known beeps of my pump telling me what my intuition already knew, that my insulin was running low. I now know I have 24 units of insulin left which should take me through half of the day or longer if I go low carb for the day. I then have to collect my supplies for the change to go to work.
1. One vial of short acting insulin
2. One resivour for my pump
3. One line and cannula that needs to be changed so that infection doesn't happen
4. My sure click set changer. This is a little spring loaded device that shoots the needle into me
5. Some alcohol wipes just in case
6. Some needles and syringes just in case the line or cannula doesn't take
Along with this kit and no matter where I go or what I do I also bring my trusty blood glucose tester. Yes I went through the years of hating it and never actually wanting to use it but it is now my best friend and worst enemy depending on what it tells me my sugar level is doing.
With my supplies I can then do what a normal person could have done 10 minutes earlier, I leave for work.
The thoughts in the morning where I am constantly checking how I am feeling is like a record stuck on a loop. As soon as I know I am fine and that I start getting on with things I go back to making sure everything is on track. This may only be a sub conscience 10 second check but it is there over and over.
The morning goes well with meeting internally and with customers however as I head to 11am I feel my mind starting to stray. I feel the difficulty to comprehend everything that is being said. Being in a meeting with a customer trying to secure a $100k + contract I keep the alarm bells to myself knowing that the meeting is no more than 5 minutes to completion. In my mind while staying utterly engaged with my customer I run through the check to gauge the level of the hypo I was heading into. Ok sweats have started and my mind is only beginning to slow down. I must be in the low 3's ok I have time to get this done and fix the situation. I run through my mind the closest place to buy sugar or something that is sugar filled. One thing that I do when ever I am going somewhere unfamiliar is to scope out the area on my way there taking note of what is around. Yes if you are another T1 or are a medical professional I can hear your voices now saying "why don't you carry a spare amount of quick acting glucose with you at all time?" We'll the answer is easy one I run out of room as I do not carry a man bag and two it means having more self control than I have in this busy life. If I have some lollies close by I will want to eat them hypo or not so I choose to live in this manner. I do have some glucose tablets in my car just in case but I try to forget they are there.
I wrap up my meeting hearing the words I was there to hear "we are just going through the sign off process and you should have a PO shortly" and my attention is focused on getting to the coffee shop downstairs to get a full strength soft drink (normal coke, sprite, lift or fanta. I tend to find lift doesn't work as well as there is a little less sugar per serving). My lips are now tingling and my mind is cloudy but I get there and order. Once I consume my drink I have to be careful as my body is craving energy and as it takes time to recover and bring my sugars back to the right level you can over correct and head into what I call a diabetic roller coaster. This is where you over correct with sugar and head into the teens and you start feeling terrible on the other end of the scale. Once you get that high you are so tired and you just want it down again that you run the possibility of going hypo again hence the ups and downs of a roller coaster. I like normal roller coasters but this type is the one I can't stand.
Also knowing that lunch time was coming up I needed to take that into consideration also. I rectified my hypo and headed back to the office. Funny thing is that on the outside everything for a hypo life seems normal but on the inside once the adrenalin subsides the tiredness kicks in even though the day continues. There are many times I wish I could just curl up in bed after a hypo but that is not acceptable to me as life comes first and the diabetes will fit in with me and not the other way around.
It is now time to change the line and cannula site for my pump. I would of years ago hidden myself away with thought that people will not understand and will judge. Now I just do the change at my desk. I take out my supplies, fill the resivour and choose the new site on my stomach for the injection. Seeing as the cannula is a small plastic tube that can have the possibility if bending it is imperative that I don't remove the old site until I know the new one has been inserted. I pick the spot and inject. The new site is successful and I remove the old site and tape around it. Thankfully this one doesn't bleed as it is very annoying being at work and explaining a blood stain on your shirt.
Lunch time, it is now time to work out what I have. Do I be good and have a salad which means little to no insulin? Long term benefits good, short term benefits good, will power needed high. Do I have a sandwich? Insulin intake 30grams of carbohydrate for a standard sandwich with no fancy fillings. Long term and short term benefits good, will power needed minimal. Or do I go with maccas or a fast food? Between 50 to 80 grams of carbs and that is being nice. Short term benefit low long term benefit even lower and will power needed not to high. I do the right thing and meet at the sandwich. 30 grams will give me some energy to get through the after noon without having a huge intake of insulin. That along with a Pepsi max, my one vice in this life, I set off after doing a BSL test and it being 7.6.
The afternoon rolls on while I feel the usual rise in BSL after eating the insulin kicks in and brings it back into line. The conscience internal checks continue all day and another BSL is taken mid afternoon and this reading is the one that makes me smile on the inside every time I see it. 5.6. The perfect number, this means that today I am winning the war that I am battling. That even though you have the highs and lows there are times that you do everything perfectly and these are the times that you know are going to keep the complications away for another day.
Time to head home. Before turning the car on another BSL is needed. One of the stipulations of driving with T1 is that you don't drive low or high. No I don't do it every time as I know when things are off but don't tell anyone. However I test and even though nothing has been consumed since the last BSL it is now sitting at 6.3. Still good but not the magic number.
At home is interesting as it isn't my priority to make me first it is a matter of making sure my family are ok. This means turning the perception down a little and focusing on the children and my wife. Even more so now that my youngest daughter has been diagnosed with T1 also. The night involves calculating my requirements and my daughters and as you can imagine a 2 year old who is fussy at the best of times is very much a juggling act.
I go through the night ensuring that my and my daughters levels are ok. Before going to sleep the thought process of hope I don't go low/hypo. It has happened a few times in my 23 years where I have gone low while asleep and basically lost time and couldn't contro my behaviour. This is the worst way possible to start a day as it means my mind and body have to play catch up all day. This isn't to mention the effect of a low to my family. The behaviour can cause my family fear and apprehension around what is happening and want to make surei am ok. During times of sickness it will usually mean broken sleep with night tests and now with my daughter the night tests are a standard , not that she realises yet.
The reason in my heading I mention the triple AAA battery is that this is what my pump requires to stay activated. With out that I am not the bionic man.
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